The OaKs
Michael Bay's movies are about as steady as our cameraman.
The OaKs: A Load of Kabullshit (00:51)
To an Afghani, the average American is a mysterious white face who knows how to box and save lives in the ocean.
Riding a 3 wheeled bike in a thong = weird. Riding a cooler with wheels and a motor strapped to it = perfectly alright.
The OaKs: Bi-Instrumental (00:39)
The OaKs laugh at those musicians who have mastered only one instrument. One instrument?? Ha! For shame!
The OaKs: Pass The Blame (1:00)
All of our country's problems aren't necessarily George Bush's fault. Some are his dad's as well.
The OaKs: Sticking It To The Man (00:50)
The balance of power in the music industry is finally leveling out thanks to trailblazing websites like Pitchfork, MySpace, *cough*Uncensored Interview*cough* and others.
The OaKs: Turn The Radio Off (00:37)
Do you part to save radio - every time a Nickelback song comes on, turn the dial, which means roughly once every 7.4 minutes.
The OaKs: Road Rage (00:52)
If bad driving was a form of martial arts, Floridians would all be ninjas.
The OaKs: Afghanistan WOW (00:47)
Most Americans arrogantly think of Afghanistan as a war torn craphole, but it's actually one of the nicest places to visit in Europe :)
The OaKs: Hmm Hmm Hmmm Hmm (00:21)
You know you're destined for one-hit wonder status when your biggest song is just you humming.
The OaKs: Badge Nazis (00:29)
1 badge and some sweet talk might work to get 2, maybe 3 people tops into a SXSW venue. But 7? Oh no, the badge nazis don't play that shit.
When Ryan met his future wife in Afghanistan, he immediately felt something between them - the government-mandated 5 feet of space.
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The OaKs: Boring Ass Kicking (00:31)
"Assault With Boredom" sounds so much better and more creative than assault with a deadly weapon. Bonus - less jail time.
The OaKs: Just Say No To Tea (2:00)
When traveling in Afghanistan, it's customary to turn down someone's offer of free tea. Sweet, sweet opium, however? No, you take that shit, man!